Squiffy: Secret Agent
I have 2 Lysanders, It was nice to be able to choose the Dark coloured one for some real secret squirrel work! The BV 141 is a new print and when I thought about it, is a perfect opponent for the Lizzy. Both kites sneak about at low level!
“Thats a funny looking crate Sparky, old sausage!” Exclaimed Squiffy
“Certainly is Squiffs…All a bit Hush Hush, secret cloak and dagger stuff” said Sparks. “Its a Lysander. They go and flap around over France and deliver important things to La Resistance”
“Gosh…I’ve no time for that guff” said Squiffy. “Straight in at a fellow and get him square between the eyes”!
Sparks shuffled his feet. “Bad luck then old Boy, because Featherprop wants you to drop in on our French friends and pick up a chap from a clearing in the woods….TONIGHT”
“Bother it!” sighed Squiffy. “I was off to the Flaps to see Gertie”.
“Ill keep your seat warm !” grinned Sparks.
This scenario is avalible for free in the shop
Squiffy had a word with Dusty who was happy to take the rear gunner seat in the Lysander. After a few circuits of the field, Squiffs actually liked the stubby Kite and how it lifted off and touched down on a postage stamp.
The Moon rose and the dark coloured spy plane lifted off quietly into the night.
Jean Luc, with his red Beret, waits in the woods. The Bv 141 flies straight and level. Nobody has spotted anyone yet! It is a dark moonlit night. It was actually 33 degrees in the Games room and I was sweating like a French Resistance Fighter waiting for a Lysander.
With the nearby Flackvierling needing a 6 to spot and the B&V being outside 14” range for night spotting, everyone flew straight and level for six full turns. The Blohm Und Voss accellerated and Squiffy was regailing Dusty with his adventures so far. The Flackvierling failed consistantly to spot Squiffy each turn.
Squiffys plan was to bank right and dive , throttle back to 1 ASI with high RPM and touch down with 9 on the revs right next to Jean Luc
“Ok Dusty my man…theres the woods! Lets wait for his flashlight and then we’ll drop in for some crossants”.
Dusty rolled his eyes at the period-appropriate casual racism and poor spelling.
Squiffs entered a SHALLOW DIVE RIGHT TURN B and recognised immediatly the Lizzys wonderful low speed handling. In his Spitfire or Defiant or Hurricane, he would have been eating dirt at this height. The Lizzy behaved like a true lady. Just not neccesserily the kind of Lady that Squiffy usually went for. Dusty shook his head at the period-appropriate casual sexism.
Now at ALT 2 ASI 3 Squiffs was lined up for a gentle turn next turn and to lightly touch down next to the waving flashlight in the distance after bringing his speed back to 1.
For a moment he paused. Was that a plane ahead? Or a 600 ft long Tuxedo Cat basking in the moonlight.
He needed to focus.
The quiet mission suddenly exploded into action!
“Great Harry!” Yelled Squiffy, “Its some sort of demented Hun Kite” . The Bv141 appeared in his sights.
“We need to get the Frenchman, Squiffs” said Dusty
“ Cant do that if we are pranged nine ways to hell old chap”. Squiffy finished his champagne. “ TALLY HO!”
The German pilot spotted the Lizzy at the same moment.
“ Großer Gott! Das ist ein Engländer! Lasst uns ihn mit unserem überlegenen Kriegergeist vernichten!” he yelled unlikely-ly
But the BV was outside the Forward arc of its guns. Squiffy however did a little RUDDER TAP LEFT and the Lysanders Twin brownings in the spats rattled a hail of dice , but missed at this range and angle.
The Flackvierling crew sprang to life. They cranked round their 20mm cannon. Counting as a turret they needed 6’s and glowing tracers flew skywards. Each one could cripple the Lizzy, but all shot by it in a cinematic effect that I cant be arsed to replicate.
Squiffy flicked left into a B CLASS LEFT TURN LEVEL. Hans entered a D CLASS LEFT TURN SHALLOW DIVE.
Both machines opened fire and a storm of dice flew past each other making realistic zipping noises that nobody in the fight could hear.
The 20mm AAA pounded more ammo into the sky, but today was not Squiffys day to die.
The B&V was a fairly sluggish and unwieldy crate. Hans pulled a hard D CLASS LEFT TURN.
Squiffy a B CLASS LEFT TURN.
Essentially now in a Two Circle fight, Squiffs got a lovely Leading shot at very close range of 1” + 2 “ of altitude difference. He had sold the Hun up the river, and they could not bear any guns!
Both his .303s hit, and HOW!
The propellor of the BV was clipped right off!
NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!
Hans hit the silk along with his WO and RT and Rear gunner. All managed to land safely as the Bv pranged into the fields.
Squiffy leveled the Lysander and now out of range of the Flackvierling approached the woods from the North.
“Easy does it! This field looks a bit bumpy!”The Lysander had however the trait SPATS and touched down perfectly on the rough terrain
Squiffs had reduced his airspeed to 1 and prepared a STRAIGHT SHALLOW DIVE to land. The CARRIER trait meant he would stop dead on landing. His Revs were 9 and he had a Variable Pitch propellor. Perfect as always. His smile flashed at Jean Luc.
“ Hop on old Fromage!..Ive a date tonight back in Blighty”
Keeping low and slow, Squiffs arrived back at Tangmere and made it through the Pub door just before closing.
He staggered to a halt.
The Pub fell silent.
“GERTIE!” he exclaimed.
Gertie looked around from the knee of Sparky Sparksworth.
“Why I aint done nuffink nor ave I whatever and that is what I say” and flounced out of the door.
